It’s just a little black rain cloud … you know the one – my car is due for an oil change (synthetic, of course, and so costs about $75.00 rather than the $29.95 specials), the suspension has started squeaking when I go over speed bumps, AND my dryer stopped drying (timer – and labor $350).
Tut tut, it looks like rain!
Oh yeah, and the lift gate on my VW Bug leaks (either a clogged tube OR faulty seal from when I had repairs done after being rear-ended in June) and of course our rain this year is exceptional.
And, oh yes, car registration is due in a month!
Oh the Joy! Of living on a fixed income where, as I’m sure many of you know, gets you just by from social security check to social security check with not a lot left over for emergencies.
And yet, there is still joy – these things always have a way of working themselves out. In spite of these “all at one time” challenges, I am fully grateful for all of the positive, loving things in my life and for all of the wonderful, loving friends I have.
And in the midst of these little challenges, I think of two friends today – one is grieving the passing of her younger sister two days ago; and I just learned this morning that another friend is celebrating the completion of chemo (as I just told her how the hell did I miss that?). I had no idea she was undergoing chemo. I guess it’s been too many months since we visited … and she (a very private person) didn’t mention that she was going through this type of crisis.
I will take the little black rain clouds along with the sunshine – grieve with my friends their losses, celebrate with my friends their successes – and remember that life isn’t so bad – and even these challenging ones are ordinary days.
I am a year out from retiring last February already – and what I’m realizing is that I was really ready to retire after working for 50 years. I am also realizing that all my energy to build a business is really not there.
That’s not to say I am still not absolutely looking for opportunities to supplement my income doing things I enjoy. The issue for me is figuring out what I enjoy.
I know I enjoy very much participating with dear friends and my work related friends in helping to maintain and drive forward the local chapter of our national association; and volunteering to help with other events as I am available and they arise. I enjoy the opportunity to fill in temporary staffing needs for my hospitality friends.
My question to myself is – are any of these fulfilling a passion? A heart’s desire?
Since I was a teenager I have enjoyed writing. Then it was short stories. Then marriage, kids and life got in the way. The messys got in the way. Years flew by where I seemed to always be “redirecting” what I thought were my hopes dreams and passions as circumstances changed. And maybe that is what happens when we expect that others will be a part of those hopes dreams and passions and then they are not?
I still believe that I can somehow put this passion to a good use – find that calling that will give ME joy … a purpose … a sense of content – a way of self expression.
And that leads me to wonder – are you retired? Are you living your dream? Your passion? Did you know what it was all along? Did you have to take time to figure it out when you retired? Is it working for you? Are you STILL trying to figure it out? Are others in your life a part of your hopes dreams and passions?
And bringing that back to my search for ordinary days, ordinary are days filled with a sense of fulfillment, a sense of peace and contentment – a sense of purpose.
And so it goes – in my search for ordinary days.